#shep: i am watching... respectfully

[scone-lover]

Happy Birthday to Holding Out For a Hero!!! ❤️

art by @subparselkie

I published the first chapter of my longest and most popular fic just about a year ago! And I bet you always wanted to see some shitty outlines. Right? Just giving the people what they want. My brain is chaos and now you all have to be subject to it. Strap in, boys. 😂 Everything’s below the cut!

Read Holding Out for a Hero on AO3

This fic was born because I saw a tumblr post about a hero and villain who are roommates and I just had to Snowbazzify it. I had so many random ideas in my brain, and I’d been engaging with fan content for the CO fandom for a few months now.

So I started off by opening a blank document and writing the Prologue, featuring Shep. I had a few basic facts in mind: Shepard’s a reporter, Simon’s a hero, Baz is a villain, Mage is an evil mayor. And that’s. Literally it. I made it up as I went along. I actually still do that with fics, even though I do try to outline in more detail now—I have to write a scene or two that’s been bouncing around in my head to get a feel for the story, then I can give it a direction.

The document is 337 pages on google docs, LOL. 

Here’s the first ever set of notes I had. I wrote this on March 29, 2020, directly after typing out the Prologue! 

Like I said, absolute chaos. The third Simon bullet point originally said something like “also I’m a superhero and only Penny knows,” then the following day I changed it to “but he’s so handsome? what do???” 

I didn’t publish the prologue until writing 5-6 additional chapters, but I think the only major change was going from Baz being “The Vampire” to just “Vampire.”

Chapter 1 was originally called “not a bloody avenger” before I decided to do the rhyming thing. I actually decided that because I wrote “counter spray and earl grey” down for chapter 2, unintentionally rhyming it, and then @ashspren-writes was like, “you should make them all rhyme”... so I did. 😂 For 25 more chapters.

I have a section labeled “quickie backgrounds” in which I finally sat down halfway through writing Chapter 2 (the blade/vamp fight) and said to myself, okay, maybe they should have backstories or something. Or like, reasons for being the hero and villain. Right, yeah, those would be good to make this into a coherent story. In the first version of that, Simon was a sports coach on the side, not a baker, and Baz was an English teacher. LOL. 

Once I had all that, I literally just wrote for four days. There’s a weird kind of magic to your first-ever fic for a fandom. All your ideas and thoughts and wishes for these characters comes to a head as you suddenly have an outlet for the first time. It’s why I think people’s first works are often their best or most creative or most profound. The first couple chapters took some time and a couple 1am epiphanies, but once I got into a rhythm it was quick going. I wrote a lot of it in a linear manner, but after writing the first Simon/Baz scene (watching the news together in the flat), I doubled back and added Simon going to Penny’s house after meeting the Mage so that I could work her in as a character earlier.

Fast forward to April 5, I had 5-ish chapters written? I thought this fic would have like... 10 total. And be less than 20k. Haha. Ha. I asked @ashspren-writes to beta read for me - I’d been bouncing ideas off her since the beginning - and then I started brainstorming titles. 

The list actually started with that second one. It took a whole 24 hours to decide on the final title. 😂 I thought it might be too cheesy. But hey, it worked out -- now I can’t open AO3 without the damn song getting stuck in my head. 

I worked a LOT with my friend @ashspren-writes on this fic - we were friends long before fandom, and she was the only person I knew at the time who had read CO and was involved in the fandom. I didn’t even have a tumblr at this point, I interacted mostly through Instagram and AO3!

On April 6, right before I posted, I realized that if I was going to actually put this on AO3 I should probably know where the story was going. So I made sure Chapters 1-6 were complete, then I wrote one bullet point per chapter up until 12 or so -- you can read those below.

Then I texted ashspren THIS mess:

Some silly notes:

Then I have a section that says “Why do they even have roommates?” because it was a few chapters in and I hadn’t justified richboy Baz and superhero Simon... living together. Cool cool cool

I also did this cool little writing experiment I want to share. Remember that line in Fangirl that’s like—“Once Cath wrote what she thought was a swordfight, and Wren turned it into a love scene.” (Or maybe it was the other way around? LOL.) Anyway, there’s swordfights in this, AND love scenes, so I wanted to do a play on that for two alternate ways Simon might figure it out.

I have a huge Deleted Section in which I wrote an alternate version of Simon and Baz finding out about their secret identities. I have one version where Baz figures it out first—it’s a very tropey yet angsty scene where Simon comes home totally wrecked from a fight, and Baz realizes as he’s helping with the wounds that he caused them. I actually like it a lot, but it ended up not quite fitting with the vibe of the fic (and I rather like them finding out through kissing better). :) I also had an idea where Simon figures it out because Vampire smells like cedar and bergamot, but it really just wasn’t interesting enough. 😂

Now onto... Outlines. 

I say that hesitantly because I think these are literally a disgrace to outlines everywhere. These are the baby ones I wrote on April 6 right before posting. Some are more detailed than others, clearly...

Gotta live up to my username somehow. 

We do love to see it. ​

I love this next one: 😂 CHAOS, SCONEY.

THEN, I wrote this as a very long text to ashspren, when I realized no sconey, this is not going to be under 20k words. LOL. 

And then I did A Dumb Thing and I put it on AO3, having absolutely NO CLUE WHERE THE STORY WAS GOING. 😂 

This is my favorite heading on the document.

Another one of my favorite notes in there.

This next part wasn’t even divided into chapters yet, it’s just a word vomit. I’m so sorry you have to read this mess.

Hahaha, once upon a time there was angst in this story. 😂 

And then I realized my true calling: bakery fluff.

Then and only then, I actually decided to divide into those things called Chapters. This is the point where I made the admission to mr scone (boyfriend, not husband lol, we just call him that) that I write gay fanfiction, whoops, and can he please help me because he’s a HUGE DC comics fan and knows everything. And of course, he was super chill about it, and he did. He really did. He’s the genius behind Egghead!!! And also the entire Mage-Humdrum-Supercomputer/Politics plot. I’m serious. I did none of that.

I can’t even say I’m trying anymore. “Flort”??? I AM LITERALLY NOT TRYING.

Why yes sconey, so very specific. 😂 

This is what qualifies as a “good” outline for me, that heading was just for my betas. Isn’t it fabulous to see that some of this actually made it in and I’m capable of planning in advance? 😂 

Get ready for the shock of your life, though -- I actually have a SUUUUPER detailed outline for the two finale chapters. Because, well, it’s the finale. Wrapping up loose ends does actually require planning, WHO KNEW. Also I’d been writing and posting for a couple months at this point and it had been several more weeks in quarantine so maybe I’d regained some sense of reality? It’s like two pages but still shittily written, so I’ll just share a couple tidibits.

That bullet point is extraordinarily cracky BUT actually, Baz shooting up from the cloud like an awesome fucking hot dramatic person was one of the very first scenes I envisioned for this fic :D 

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my writing brain! It’s a terrifying place. I love all of you that say Holding Out For a Hero is a well-crafted masterpiece, but respectfully, no ❤️ 

(Though I swear I AM super, super happy with how it turned out - it’s still my favorite thing I’ve ever written. Read it here!!!)

[bazzybelle]

TITLE: No One To Save That Can't Be Saved

RATING: Teen and Up

CATEGORY: M/M

TAGS: COTTA 2020, Carry On Through The Ages, Murder, Murder Mystery, TW: Blood, tw: PTSD, POV Simon Snow, Simon Snow Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Simon Snow Needs a Hug, Vietnam War, Counterculture hippie movement, 1960s, Counter Culture Movement, Simon Snow is a P.I., War Vet Simon Snow, Southern Belle Agatha, Feminism, Civil Rights Movement, Black Panther Shep, Feminist Penny, sexual revolution, Summer of Love - Freeform, 1967 San Francisco, Jazz Club Owner Baz, TW: War Flashback, tw: death, Haight-Ashbury Revolution, LGBTQ Revolution

SUMMARY: Simon Snow is not interested in any revolution.

Living in San Francisco, he sees the people marching everyday, for freedom, equality, for their voices to be heard.

He's just trying to survive day by day, living with the memories of his time in Vietnam, while trying to make ends meet, working as a Private Investigator.

His life changes one day, when a passionate young woman bursts into his office, demanding his help to bring justice to her friends who've been viciously murdered.

When Simon accepts this case, he is soon thrust into the middle of a Revolution that will see the world change for the better. He will soon see that nothing is what it seems, and his prior prejudices will be tested and broken.

And he'll be forced to face not only the truth of the world around him, but the sad, broken eyes of the person he left a long time ago.

:readmore:

A/N: First of all, I am overwhelmed with the amount of love that @carryonthroughtheages has received. To everyone who posted content, reblogged, spread the world and love, thank you from the bottom of my heart. This first year of COTTA was a massive success, and I cannot wait to do this again next year!

Next, thank you so so SO much to everyone who have been so supportive of me writing this fic. I had changed my idea halfway through the writing period and was worried that I would not have anything to post. But thank you to those who held my hand and supported me.

@hufflepunky for being my number one history researcher! Thank you for spending endless hours with me, going over research and for answering my questions about San Francisco life and lingo. Also thank you for being just such an amazing friend. I love you, sis!

@amywaterwings thank you for constantly holding me accountable for my story and my words. You are persistent and you are willing to call me out on my distraction excuses. I adore you and love you. Thank you for being being my mental rock during this last month in particular. Love you so much!

@carryonsimoncarryonbaz , you are the person I look up to the most. You love and support for everything I do means the absolute world to me. Thank you for being the most amazing Beta anyone could ask for, and for showing my fic the love and hype it deserves. Thank you for pushing me to keep writing and to never give up. Thank you for reminding me that I have a GOOD story to tell.

@giishu , for being one of the first people I shared my COTTA idea with, and for literally screaming in chat, and threatening me that I HAD to go through with me. SO yeah... thank Giishu for COTTA actually happening. If it weren't for their shouting and enthusiasm, I may not have gone through with it. Thank you for also being an amazing Beta, who is never afraid to point out my many many plot holes, and my unclear descriptions.

@foolofabookwyrm , for being my Brain Cell Mate, and for just being the best person. You love and friendship mean the world to me. Thank you for supporting me through my decision to change COTTA ideas. Thank you also for creating the fancy workskin I'm using and for teaching me how to code my fic so that it looks cool and fancy-like. (Also thank you for forcing me to watch Hamilton... The musical has left me hopeleeeeeess!)

A note on this fic... It is VERY different than the type of stuff I usually write. It's a lot darker and grittier. I wanted to fit the mood of a typical film noir. With that being said, there will be some violent scenes, as well as mentions of blood and injuries.

Also, as this fic is taking place during a very tumultuous time, I have tried to depict the atmosphere of 1967 San Francisco as respectfully as I could.

Finally, Simon is a Vietnam War vet. Just a small Google search will tell you that the Vietnam War was brutal for all parties involved. A lot of people died horrifically, and in vain. I have tried to depict his PTSD as respectfully and as truthfully as I could.